Toad Comes to Willows Preparatory
by colonellunchmeat
Summary: This is a (possibly heartwarming, but probably not) How-They-Met story...Mole, Toad, Badger and the Water Rat, come of age ala "Stalky & Co." or "Tom Brown" (or at worst "Billy Bunter") at school. Enjoy or criticise, I'm here all week.
1. Chapter 1

IN WHICH THE WILLOWS PREPARATORY SUFFERS A NEW BOY

Waiting about the quadrangle, watching Ratty light an illegal cigarette, Mole overheard his young brother, Mole Minor of the Second Form, prattling away with his bosom friend Frog.

"So, he's to come to the Prep, is he, Froggy?" Minor leaned against a tree. "Interesting sort, I wager?"

"He's a piece of work, my cousin." Frog chuckled. "Sacked from Amphibian Academy, and Mammals Conservatory, and not exactly sacked but asked not to come back to St. Squirrel's. I doubted he'd be accepted here, Cousin Toad, but my Pater is an Old Boy, and Badger, who is head prefect of Gerbil House, promised to look after him."

The Water Rat nudged Mole major. "What are the fags prattling about?" Ratty had hurriedly pocketed his tobacco, as their Latin master was taking the air nearby.

"Some new student, I guess. More young'uns, I suppose." Mole smiled indulgently. "Most annoying, you know, kids." The Mole pretended that he barely tolerated the Second Formers, as if he were an old grandfather, and not just a Fourth Former himself, who enjoyed playing Ludo with his minor in the holidays.

Froggy looked over at the Mole. "Oh no, Mole...my relative is going to be in your Form." Frog sniggered in a way that made Ratty want to knuckle his green head. "Actually, Toad is a bit older than you chaps, having not gotten his remove yet, a duffer in French and plane Geometry."

Mole and Ratty looked at each other and shrugged. "Another one for Gerbil House, I suppose." The Rat shook his head dispiritedly. "He'll probably-this Toad-be shoved into Study No. 5 with us, Moley. Since Otter moved over to Sparrow House, our study does have the room, more's the pity. Drat!"

Mole shook his snout good naturedly. "Rat, it's good to meet new fellows, and perhaps he'll be a fun. Certainly he probably will be a bit lonely. I was until you took me under your wing. I'm not the social genius my young brother is."

Rat patted his friend's shoulder good naturedly. Though a useful coxswain on Ratty's boat, Mole didn't have his minor's skill at capturing wickets or playing pranks. And the Preparatory had the usual value for a boy's skills...but Mole Major was a bookworm, if not a swot.

Suddenly, the two heard a great commotion near the gate.

There was the puff puff of a motor-bike. "Porter, take my trunk to the dorm. Look out you chaps, Toad's here to be Cock of the Walk, and wake up the Willows Preparatory!"

And indeed there was a small green creature, wearing goggles, dancing up and down next to his cycle.

"Oh glorious." Rat said distastefully. "We have a lively one."


	2. Chapter 2

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS ME

After Toad put his cycle away, he pushed up his goggles and reviewed the fellows. They must be in awe of me, he thought. There's young Frog, he thought distastefully. Child cousins can be a bit of a drain, but one must be tolerant.

Smiling, Toad walked up to his young cousin and the other little chap, who Froggy introduced as Mole Minor. "That's his major over there in the quad." Frog added. "Did you bring any pocket money with you, Toady?"

"Yes, and keeping a close eye on it." Toad said evenly, but seeing the younger's face fall, he tossed him a half-crown. "Not much of a show here, is it?" Really, it wasn't. Saint Squirrel's had been a five-house school, but apparently the Prep was a wee place, with just three houses and a main building.

Toad had hoped Father would get him re-admitted to Squirrel's...place seemed to have a dim view of cleverness, and they really didn't prove that (well, not beyond a reasonable doubt) that Toady had glazed old Porcine's head bright lavender while the old idiot was snoring in the Master's Lounge.

Wouldn't a whopping have served better than being sent home? The Prep wasn't well known in Toad's circles. They'd never had a match with Squirrel's or any of Toad's other late educational establishments.

Young Minor was bringing over his older brother, who offered his fist to Toad.

"Nice to meet you. Always good to have a new chap." Toad gave the older Mole a big grin.

"Back at you, old bean. Looks like this old school needs a little jazzing up."

"We're doing all right." snarled a rodent like creature in a cheap smoking jacket. Certainly not Savile Row.

The Mole looked behind him. "Rat come be a bit social. This is a new fellow."

"He might be a bit shy, you know." Toad said kindly. "Often men at new public schools are a bit taken back by a fellow of looks and athletic prowess. My reputation dogs me."

"They don't mention who the water boys were for the Second Elevens at other schools, do they?" Frog asked innocently.

How is it, Toad wondered wearily, that young relatives can't just take the dratted half crown you give them and go to the school shop forthwith? Always, always underfoot.


	3. Chapter 3

BADGER GETS WORD

The Mole came into his study and stopped, in awe of Ratty talking to the Head Prefect of Gerbil House, the Badger. Badger, who captained the First Eleven!

The two were sitting by the study fire like equals, and when the great Badger, an overlord of sixteen and a half saw the Mole hesitate (Moley was always polite and worried that he was interrupting) the prefect motioned him over, and gave the protesting Mole the armchair.

"Look here, Mole." Rat said, annoyed. "Our study-mate, the new one-"

"Toad?" Mole smiled. Toad was frightfully amusing, but Ratty was slow to warm up.

"Well he's corrupted young Sebastian Badger, cousin of Badger Major here."

Mole bit his lip, not daring to look straight at Badger. Corrupted?

Badger winced. "It's not as bad as all that. You probably know my little First Form cousins-Septimus, Stanislaus and Sebastian-we call him Basty at home."

"Yes, Stan is a great wicket taker, my minor tells me." Mole said hesitantly. Mole had little interest in sports, and of course none in the fag forms.

"Right...but Basty has been going around with Toad-Toad's sent him out to get cigs and taught Basty bridge. And you know, the triplet's pater is a vicar. Gambling, by George!"

Rat gave Mole a severe look. "I'm not trying to badger you-so to speak" Ratty grinned guiltily at the Head Prefect-"But really, Mole. You seem the closest to Toad, and I thought you and I could discuss the doubtful morals of sending kids down to the village-"

"And that your Toad apparently imbibes himself!" Badger grimaced. "I've heard from Basty, who is a bit of a sneak, that Toad actually keeps Madeira Rum in in the grate sometimes."

"I smashed it up." Rat said. "Of course I wouldn't mention it to you pre's, but I did get Toad's head in chancery and batter him a bit. Not much good it did."

At this point the study door opened again, and Toad burst in."Hallo chappies!"

Ratty lifted his eyes levelly at Toad's. "You've been taking Badger's cousin about and feeding him liquor and ciggies, we understand."

"He's a lonely little fellow, Rat." Toad said severely. Toad then looked at Badger. "But you are at fault, Badger for not spending more time with him. We had a glorious day today at the racetrack, you know. Young Badger minimus won half a crown on "Four Seasons" and he didn't even consult the racing form!"

Badgeropened his mouth and closed it. Ratty's eyes glowed and Mole looked terribly embarassed.

"After that, I took Basty to that new bordello on Woodchuck Lane. He is talking about eloping with the girl he met there, but I think eleven's too young, don't you?"


	4. Chapter 4

[Thanks to "Old Toad" for your encouraging comments!]

BIT OF A MARTINET, THAT BADGER MAJOR

Toad rubbed his rear, it stung just under the waistcoat. Goodness, all this fuss over a few wagers on the gee-gees!

Toad had been about to tap Badger over a paltry seven-and-six that young Sebastian "Basty" Badger owed for several lost games of penny nap, but after Badger's ministrations with the ashplant (eight cuts? Thought the limit was six, by George) it seemed the outstanding bill might be, at this point, forgotten.

Now I'll have to lay out a quidlet or two to Stoats Minor and Tertius to do a bit of 'shipping' to Badger's study. Perhaps slip little Stoat Quartus a ninepence to pour treacle in the old boy's slippers!

Toad leaned back from where he'd been holding the armchair for support after the energetic wielding of Badger, whose right arm was not just known for his bowling, and looked through bleary eyes at Rat and Mole. Rat was disgusted, and Mole just looked sorrowful.

Mole was such a serious little chap! Squinting through those mended spectacles, and too moralistic to get paid to help a fellow with his lines, it was a shame. Badger expected 500 from Virgil by tea-time tomorrow. And two weeks gating!

As if reading Toad's mind, Rat snorted. "He should've reported you to the Head. How many schools can you exhaust before your pater says no more, and makes you fill ink-wells in his office?"

"Father has no office." Toad said with some asperity. "Working for a living is like chewing with your mouth open, or forgetting your ascot. Not done."

Mole giggled appreciatively at this, and even Rat smiled.

"Look here, Toad." Rat brought Toad a cup of tea, while Mole began frying some bacon. "You're a great chum in some ways, you can't hold your wicket for toffee, but we've had some good times in the short time you've been here this term. But you've got to reform-"

"I may be going back to St. Squirrel's "Toad said haughtily. "This is just a stopgap, if I can show my people at home-"

"How on earth are you going back to your old school?" Mole shook his head over the rashers. "You'll be sacked if your antics are discovered, and Badger may give your motorbike to charity or something."

Toad kept his mouth shut, as his study-mates were unaware that his cycle had been smashed beyond repair during a drunken midnight carouse through the woods with the French master's wife,who found Toad's distended eyeballs "riotous".

How to reform? Toad was just getting started!


	5. Chapter 5

The old Chinee was sorting clay pipes when he saw the door to the dark room suddenly open. No knock? No password? Who had key? Only a couple smokers had key.

Very small-a frog, or a lizard, in a waistcoat, and the tiny-Oooh. Basty. Basty bringing new one. The Chinee looked around at the dim figures on the mats, no one awake now. Smoke themselves to sleep.

Basty Badger approached the old Chinee at the table. "You shouldn't let them sleep with burning pipes, Yen Ching."

The frog-lizard friend, looking around, babbling a mile a minute. "Opium! Fancy this, an opium den. Rather Sax Rohmer, Fu Manchu, what?"

This why I no like animals as customer. Yen Ching grabbed the little badger by the scruff of his neck. "Who is howling reptile? Why he so loud?"

Basty disengaged himself by slipping out of his jacket. "Relax, you yellow, squinting beast."

The little badger pointed at the green skinned, bulbous eyed creature, as he bent down to pick up a discarded pipe.

"He's got the durrocks, Yen. Thinks this is a big lark." The little rodent winked at the old Chinee. "Up at school, Toad here's the bad influence on me, rather."

As the Toad approached, Yen Ching saw him pulling a fat pocketbook out of his vest.

"You do bring in lots new smokee, Basty Badger." The Chinee gave Basty a toothless grin. "He smoke much, we forgive you debt, hah?"

Basty winked and they both watched the stupid Frog-thing as he waved a sovereign in the Chinee's face, pointing at the same time to the discarded pipe in his other hand.


End file.
